The Justice League of Avengers
by actionfactionfictionfan
Summary: Robin, Wally, and Artemis try to decide which Leaguer is which Avenger. Pure, shameless humor because I love these three. Slightly crackish, but just a little.


**A/N Hi! This came to me randomly, and I thought it was funny. In a crackish sort of way...** **basically, Artemis, Wally, and Dick try to figure out which Leaguer is which Avenger. I don't know if anyone else has ever had this idea, but I never read a story in which this happened. If I get someone blatantly wrong (and I likely will because I'm not really much of a Marvel person) PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LET ME KNOW!**

 **Love these three. They're awesome together. They're the humans of the original six, so they stick together and I love it. Wally's funny, Arty's sassy, and Rob's a troll. It's great.**

 **Disclaimer: I love this show so much, but I don't own it.**

"No way! No way, no way, no way! I'm telling you, Rob, Batman is totally not Iron Man. I mean, no. Just no. No way in any way is that at all possible."

"Sure thing, KF. They don't call Batman the Dark Knight for nothing, and really, Iron Man is pretty much a knight. He wears armor, doesn't he?"

"It's not the same thing! Batman doesn't wear armor!"

"Oh yeah? Then what do you call Kevlar?"

"It's— it, uh, I mean, that... That has nothing to do with it! Tony Stark is just a wealthy know-it-all!"

"What do you think Batman is in real life?"

"...That doesn't mean anything! I mean, he's got no skills! He's a suit! No skills, and relies entirely on his armor! What if he loses the armor? He's completely at the mercy of the enemy!"

"I'm telling you, Tony Stark has brains, too! Even if he did get captured, he'd—oh, hi, Artemis."

"Hey, Rob. Hey, Baywatch."

"Good to see you too, thanks for not insulting me within the first split second you see me."

"What are you guys talking about?"

"If Batman were an Avenger, I think he would be Iron Man, but KF here says no."

"It's true! Iron Man is all suit, no skills. Batman is nothing but skills! Skills and a few strategically placed smoke bombs!"

"Alright, fine! Who do you think Batman is?"

"Nick Fury."

"..."

"..."

"See?"

"...He's got a point, Boy Wonder."

"No! Fury looks nothing like Batman!"

"And Tony Stark does? Face it! Batman is totally Fury! All skills, no powers, just deadpan expressions and zero tolerance levels!"

"I have to side with Kid Mouth this time. Out of all the Avengers, Batman is the most like Nick Fury."

"Then who's Iron Man?"

"Better yet, if Batman is Nick Fury, who's Superman?"

"Thor."

"And you figure that how?"

"Dunno. Just seems to fit. They have this overwhelming sense of justice. Robin, don't you dare say anything about being whelmed."

"Aw man!"

"I've got one. Black Canary and Black Widow."

"Uh... yep. You called that one."

"Thanks."

"Hey, how do you know anything about the Avengers, anyway? I always pictured you to be more of a Fast and Furious kind of person."

"Avengers are cool enough. Also, Hawkeye and Green Arrow."

"Well, no duh. Pop quiz! Who would be the Hulk?"

"Ooh... good one. Conner."

"Dude! Yes! That's totally it! But don't let him hear you say that, or else you're totally dead."

"Who am I?"

"Arty, you're that damsel in distress screaming at the top of her lungs. Ow!"

"Captain America?"

"We haven't decided yet. Ooh! What about Wolverine?"

"Oh, so now we're going into the X-men? What happened to the Avengers?"

"Shut up, Arty. Um, Wolverine... hard saying. Definitely someone with anger issues, but we've already used Supey. And maybe someone who chops stuff up... Wait! Red Arrow!"

"As Wolverine?"

"Yes! Why not?"

"I don't know. I guess it fits. Who could you be?"

"How about the idiot who makes a portal for Loki to come through?"

"Hey, that's not—"

"Ooh, Loki! We need a villain to be Loki. Loki is the god of mischief or something, isn't he?"

"Klarion."

"KF! Dude, that's it! Loki and Klarion! Why didn't I think of it before?"

"You do realize you two nitwits just made Superman and Klarion brothers, right?"

"No duh. It's all in good fun. No one gets hurt."

"While we're talking about villains, could we bring up Spiderman? Robin here is totally Spiderman. Except, you know, robins eat spiders, so, would that be cannibalism?"

"You're an idiot, Baywatch. But on the other hand, would that make Zatanna Mary Jane Watson?"

"No! Mary Jane Watson is just a damsel in distress with no foreseeable life ahead of her. Zee is Black Cat."

"Black Cat is a villain."

"Oh."

"Ooh! Green Goblin!"

"Professor Desmond. Well, Blockbuster."

"You know, Kobra always kind of reminded me of Zodiac."

"Isn't Zodiac Nick Fury's brother? So now Batman and Kobra are brothers, too? Is this 'give the heroes a villain for a brother day' or something?"

"Unless you can come up with another simile, I suggest you stay out of this conversation, Arty."

"Sure. Well, your uncle is a forensic analyst, right, Wally?"

"Yeah."

"So he's a brilliant scientist, right?"

"Yeah."

"Iron Man."

"...Eh. I can see where you're coming from."

"Iron Man and the Flash... Can't say I saw that coming. Deadpool?"

"Cheshire?"

"..."

"..."

"What?"

"...No. Just, no."

"Fine. What about Ultron?"

"That's stupid! We don't have an evil robot who wants to destroy all of humanity!"

"Red Volcano."

"Ha ha. Thanks, Arty."

"Shut up, KF!"

"You're just mad you didn't think of that."

"Change of subject. Who's Megan?"

"You just killed me. There is no one that could be Megan. Except maybe MJ Watson."

"That would make the Hulk date MJ Watson, or Robin date Megan. Which do you prefer?"

"..."

"..."

"Well?"

"...We need to end this conversation."

"Agreed."

"Ugh... think I'm gonna barf."

"Bye, Arty!"

"Bye, Rob. Hm... Hulk and MJ..."

The next morning, there was a suspicious-looking drawing hanging on the refrigerator, depicting Batman and Kobra sitting on a couch watching TV together, Superman and Klarion playing football, and Robin dancing with Miss Martian. Naturally, someone demanded an explanation.

"ARTEMIS!"

 **A/N So... yeah. Let me know if anyone is off. Also, this is my first time writing a (mostly) dialogue fic. Give me your opinion, but please don't flame. Constructive criticism is accepted.**


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